Sharing our stories helps us to understand and make sense of where we have been and where we are going. In hypnotherapy, we use stories and narratives as tools to help shift our thinking. Sometimes it is helpful to experience a new way of thinking about our own story, in order to heal past hurts, or let go of something that is holding us back.
So I thought I would share a bit of my story about how I came to do this work.
When I think back on it, the very first seeds were planted when I was a new mom of my daughter back in 2016. The first years of parenthood were tough for me (as they are for many!). I was never someone who knew all my life that I would have children. I was very unsure about it right up until I became pregnant! It has been a most beautiful gift, in many ways because it challenged me to stretch and grow a lot. I resisted so much of the letting go that was needed in parenting: my expectations of myself as a parent, of my career, my personal identity and as a partner. My beliefs about parenting roles, family dynamics, setting boundaries and being in control. I resisted letting go of who I no longer was, to become a more expansive version of myself that included being a mom.
All of this culminated in a lot of anger, resentment and anxiety. And I felt conflicted - I loved being a mom (this was a relief as I wasn't sure if I would), but I also didn't always loved how I showed up for my daughter. And I wanted to be the most present, carefree, wise and patient version of myself for her.
So I found a "calm parent" online workshop for moms to learn how to be more mindful and present. I worked through this course and it was interesting; it helped, and got me thinking more about how parenthood is a catalyst for growth. Our children are a mirror, making clear and obvious the parts of us that need healing. This lesson repeats every time we lose our patience or feel overwhelmed due to not being able to meet our own needs in the midst of everyday demands.
When we decided to try for number two and began struggling with secondary infertility, I came to realize that these feelings of being anxious and overwhelmed were manifesting in my body and causing physical symptoms. Trying to be everything I used to be (career oriented person, leadership track, always striving at work, be the perfect feminist, take care of everyone around me, be the rock and shoulder and "fixer" of everything) was harming me, and my desire to grow my family.
When my only daughter became unexpectedly and seriously ill with pneumonia and in the hospital, the moment of reckoning was upon me. The meaning that I made in that moment was this: the only way to heal myself and therefore my family required letting go of everything I believed about myself and my life. And see it all with new eyes. I promised the universe that if she were to be ok, that is just what I would do.
For several years I cascaded through a journey of exploration into variety of healing modalities. After many years of talk therapy I sought out those that gave me an immediate feeling of physical openness and change - meditation and mindfulness, kriya yoga, energy work, EMDR and finally hypnotherapy.
When I realized that I had the power to shift beliefs that were holding me back, and heal parts of me that were holding on to the past, I felt liberated. And wanted to share that with everyone.
With many twists and turns, I reevaluated what was truly important to me, left my leadership track career, and dove into the thing that had fascinated me since grade school: what shapes us to become who we are? how does our mind work? Why do we do what we do? And how can we become the highest version of ourselves?
I believe that healing and transforming is a life long journey - indeed it's our calling as humans. And it comes to us in the most challenging moments where we have the opportunity to shift and grow.
I really enjoy working with others who may be in the midst of these moments and feeling a pull to shift their identity. This could be a result of any life challenge or change. The ones along my journey have included career & leadership, burnout, parenting, fertility, critical illness, grief and loss. But it could be so many other things!
Thanks for listening. If you resonate with anything I've talked about, I would be happy & honoured to explore working together. Please don't hesitate to reach out with any questions you might have to hello@reststopstudio.com
p.s. You can also find me at: www.everybodymind.com
